


dusted hearts and souls of rising sun and twinkling moon

by InsomniaMagic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One Shot, bokuto and kuroo looking towards the future, glimpse of a future, kenma and akaashi are there to help, last practice camp, nothing too descriptive, questions about their relationship, there is a death of a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniaMagic/pseuds/InsomniaMagic
Summary: It was a spring feeling. It had to be. It was only them. Captains of Nekoma and Fukurodani high schools.





	dusted hearts and souls of rising sun and twinkling moon

_It was a spring feeling. It had to be._

 

Bokuto ran for his life with Kuroo in his tow. “No, you don´t get to win this time!” Bokuto yelled enthusiastically, his breath hitching, sweaty silver hair flowing all around his face.

“No way!” Kuroo disagreed, huffing and puffing with his legs speeding up. They were close to the finish line made by the sakura trees not too far away from their practice camp. Bokuto shouted something about being a winner, when Kuroo passed him like a flash of lightning. “Yes!” Echoed his triumphant shout as they both plumped to their knees, close to passing out. “This is our fifteenth race and my fifteenth win. Yes, yes, yes.”

Bokuto pouted. “I thought I got it!”

“You got too sure of yourself,” Kuroo laughed as he spread his body all over the grass surrounded by the heavily orange running track. “Don´t be so down, you won every strength challenge, so we can call it a draw, right?”

Bokuto sighed in hesitant agreement. “You were always good at this cardio stuff.”

Kuroo chuckled. “Have you seen yourself? You were always good at the strength stuff. We have to combine that somehow…”

“And create one perfect human being!” they both yelled at once.

“So strong,” Kuroo dreamed.

“So smart,” Bokuto added, watching his friend. “But no, this is not a draw. You won, fair and square.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. Not this argument again.  “You have to stop doing this. Let me make you happy, sometimes, it´s not fair if only Akaashi gets to do that.”

“What?” Bokuto gasped audibly, Kuroo unsure if he was acting or not. “You make me happy, don´t worry. I would never get him to agree to this.”

“Same,” Kuroo nodded, thinking of Kenma, both of them smiling in satisfaction. “We got lucky with our friends, didn´t we?”

Bokuto turned to him, leaning behind on his hands, covered in the shadows of a twilight announcing the night is coming. “Why do you ask? Of course, we did.” He tried to pat him on the shoulder, which accidentally turned into a painful slap.

“Ouch, man, be careful.” They smiled at each other, ready to get back, their steps deliberately slow. Kuroo couldn´t shake away the feeling of a spring, the funk that was getting to him. “Do you think we can continue? Do you think this has a future? This is the last practice camp for our teams… just the two of us.” Only Nekoma, only Fukurodani. The senior players passing the baton to their kouhais, to Kenma and Akaashi. 

“It won´t go away. I meant it that night.” Bokuto smiled at him, completely serious.

Kuroo was taken aback with this demeanor of his. “Good.” But he still got splotchy, his stare almost empty. Why?

 

 

“Kuroo?” His friend addressed him in a quiet, soft voice. “What are you doing?”

The black haired man turned to him. “Drying myself up? We ran so much… he didn´t want to stop.” Kuroo grinned. “What? Did you want to join? For you, I can…”

“No,” Kenma deadpanned, his eyes filled with worry. “It´s late.”

Kuroo understood the meaning. It´s late, so come inside. He gave a side glance to Bokuto as they both walked into the showers.

 

* * *

 

 

_It was dark when we hid in there, and it was still dark when we left._

 

It was only them. Captains of Nekoma and Fukurodani high schools.

Everyone else finished long time ago and most of them went out for dinner, probably. Bokuto and Kuroo missed it, surprisingly not hungry.  

Kuroo walked to the locker rooms, where he waited for Bokuto, who was nowhere to be seen. What was this? They were supposed to wait for each other, as always. Kuroo checked everywhere, without success.

He walked into Nekoma´s sleeping room with a confused expression, addressing Kenma. “Have you seen Bokuto? I lost him and…”

“Bokuto?” Kenma asked, gazing away from his game. Their eyes met, one questioning the other. Kuroo was certain they both must be thinking of something entirely different. “You should sleep, Kuroo. You are exercising yourself too much.”

“No, I need to… we just…”

Kenma watched him, exchanging worried looks with Yaku and Kai. “Kuro…”

“Akaashi will know,” Kuroo decided, barging into the Fukurodani´s rooms. “Akaashi?” Bokuto wasn´t even there. Did he miss him in the locker rooms?

“He is outside,” Konoha said, pointing towards the small grassy hill.

Kuroo stared out of the window, seeing a smaller silhouette, standing there like a victim of Medusa´s stare. Kuroo has been always afraid of losing Bokuto to Akaashi, but there was no way he would admit it out loud, or to  Bokuto himself.

 

 

He stepped outside, instantly attacked by the warm spring breeze and rich smell of blooming flowers, as the midnight nonchalantly approached. “Bokuto?”

The one who turned to him was Akaashi. His legs were glued to the ground under the huge, majestic willow, the two of them together, but solitary. “Bokuto?” Akaashi repeated Kuroo´s question.

Kuroo stopped in the middle of the hill, staring at the moonlit face. “I can´t find him.”

“Me either,” Akaashi whispered with a quiet sniff.

“Why did he leave me? He promised he would wait and now I can´t…” Kuroo didn´t finish. Something within him broke. He felt like an old book that no one cared for or tried to find a time for to read. He was covered in a thin layer of dust, unfinished, short of the happy ending. With every passing minute, the dust was getting heavier. Kuroo sighed. “I wish…”

Akaashi stared at him, his hair and jacket in sync with the breeze, ready to fly away and never turn back. The wind made him look like an angel. “So, you two really did it, right? You said it?”

“Not exactly…”

 

 

Akaashi´s words sparked Kuroo´s memories of every practice camp they spent together, of every free time they found for each other outside of the volleyball court. Something unspoken lingered between them from the start, each of them not understanding its true meaning even after they talked about it.

It happened at the last real practice camp, before the Nationals of Spring High, when they found each other at the edge of the night ending.

“Bokuto?” Kuroo was stumped, stumbling over his friends’ feet, who sat hidden among the rose bushes.

“Pssst, I am watching,” Bokuto whispered excitedly.

Kuroo plopped right by his side on his stomach and tried to find the same scenery. “Oooh, rabbits, nice!” He frowned. “Wait… are they…?”

“Making babies,” Bokuto whispered again.

“Really?” Kuroo said flatly. “Making babies is your choice of words?”

Bokuto laughed, scaring the rabbits away. “Oops!” He turned to his side. “Hello. So, what do you want?”

“Do I need to want anything?” Kuroo smirked, then noticed Bokuto´s face got red. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Bokuto mumbled.

 

 

And so the silence rose between them, shaped as a high and wide invisible barrier. Kuroo stared straight at Bokuto, Bokuto looked past him, his eyes searching. They had no idea how to deal with the hush that never happened to them before, only after.

 

 

“I… did you ever like someone? Like like? You know… liiike…” He motioned with his fingers to create a circle, Kuroo stopped him before he could continue.

“Yeah, I got it the first time, thanks for the image. And… maybe.”

Bokuto nodded vehemently. “Yeah…”

“Have you talked about it with Akaashi?”

“Yes.”

Kuroo was honestly surprised, this meant Akaashi was not the source of this affection. “And?”

“And I am talking to you. I don´t know what it means, but… I would like to…” Bokuto put his index fingers together, touching them repeatedly as his eyes looked anywhere, just not at Kuroo.

“Then why were you watching the rabbits mating?” Kuroo asked, almost stuttering.

“They got me distracted while I waited for the right time and… you know, rehearsing. Kenma was supposed to send you here in…” Bokuto checked the time. “In five minutes.” He opened his mouth to speak again, when he was met with Kuroo´s lips.

“So?”

“I don´t know,” Bokuto admitted, feeling smaller with every second. “But I liked how it felt and… it woke up something in me.”

Kuroo gave him a soft grin, not the cocky one he so much liked to spread around. “Good. I feel the same way.” And so they kissed again, still not sure what it meant.

But it felt good, so they continued.

The night progressed and the midnight passed with no one looking for them. They either knew or didn´t care. This wasn´t the first time they disappeared for their shenanigans, although different ones.

 

 

“I am losing my mind here, Bo,” Kuroo said, grinning like crazy after Bokuto cupped his face in his palms, the gesture telling him he was his whole world, no matter what would come of it. “I am losing my mind here,” he repeated, his voice getting lost at the last word.

“Don´t make fun of this, Kurooo,” Bokuto whaled as his lips changed into a pout. “I have no idea what I´m doing here.”

Kuroo, his head still in Bokuto´s palms, rose his hands up, touching Bokuto´s wrists. “I would never make fun when it comes to this.”

“Promise?” Bokuto gulped loudly.

“Promise.” And then they kissed once more. Kuroo´s back fell onto the grass with Bokuto right on top of him. “Can´t breathe! Can´t…” The kissing continued, with more hands coming into the play.

Kuroo felt everything and nothing - everything for Bokuto, nothing for the rest of the existence. Neither of them cared about the night, progressing pass the midnight.

Tonight belonged to them, and to them only.

They touched; bared their skin. Their bodies glued to one another, two separate bodies became one whole unit, at least for this fleeting moment of time, short but meaningful moment of the past. Kuroo moaned into Bokuto´s ear, loud enough for him to get a reaction, quiet enough so others wouldn´t be disturbed. Bokuto bit Kuroo´s shoulder, dug his nails into his skin, losing his mind over the flood of gasps adorning their time together. Whatever Bokuto did, he did well.

Kuroo has wished for this to never stop. He had no idea what could become of it. Probably nothing, maybe everything. This desperation could have meant so many things, but he was thankful to be able to forget it.

That unknown, approaching them both after high school graduation, the worry of losing their high school friends, the creepiness of impending future that might change all their lives forever.

And Bokuto was the anchor he needed. Bokuto was the one with the same fears.

This was not just some experiment. It meant so much, they were losing themselves.

It was Bokuto´s turn to moan until he moaned his guts out. That was the mission Kuroo set himself upon. He realized later, it was a mistake. Bokuto didn´t have enough self control with his loudness, so Kuroo was left with one resolve.

He put his palm over Bokuto´s mouth. Bokuto bit him with gasps muffled.

After the third time, the only thing left were their naked, sweaty and shaking bodies under the bright blue skies and hidden stars, reassuring them - you will be okay. The daylight allowed them to take in everything they were made of, without a single worry they might be found out.

If anyone was sent to look for them, they knew exactly who would come.

“When our paths will part away, don´t leave me,” Kuroo pleaded, his fingers stroking Bokuto´s chest.

“Of course, are you crazy? We´ve been through so much!” Bokuto started laughing. “Come here!”

“Oh no,” Kuroo said with a warning in his voice. “This is tickling war.”

Bokuto lost. Hard. “I won´t leave,” Bokuto repeated, putting his clothes on.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

The night arrived, the darkness fell on them. Bokuto and Kuroo woke up curled into each other´s arms, somehow unafraid of how their coaches would punish them. The most terrifying part was the reaction of their best friends, Akaashi and Kenma. Thankfully, they couldn´t care less, because they knew and understood. That was enough for all four of them.

“Well, we can´t even call this making it right in time for the twelfth hour, right?” Bokuto mumbled.

Kuroo smirked. “We are doing it in style, Bokuto. We are arriving in the thirteenth hour!”

 

 

“Kuroo?” It was Kenma again. “Akaashi, will you help me with him?”

The three of them stood on the hill. Kuroo hasn´t moved since the moment his eyes locked with Akaashi. How long was he reminiscing?

“Yes,” Akaashi answered simply, both of them taking Kuroo by his hands. Both setters led him back to the school, trying to help him get some sleep.

Kuroo refused. “What are you doing? I am just looking for Bokuto, what are you…” He felt a weird stinging in his chest. Something was off.

Kenma knelt in front of him, Akaashi moved closer to his back. “Do you know why we came here? Even after… after the Nationals, when third years are not part of the team anymore?”

“None of this should be part of the team,” Akaashi added silently.

“Of course, I…” Kuroo was ready to argue, then he realized there was no satisfying answer. Kenma reached behind Kuroo´s back, giving him CD with white cover and very bad handwriting. “For my Kuroo, these remind me of you. Your Bokuto!”

Kuroo took it and carefully examined the names of the songs and interprets. He loved the CD, the choices were perfect, perfect for them and… He teared up.

“We are here to remember,” Akaashi whispered as he moved to crouch next to Kenma.

 

 

It happened a week after Fukurodani won the Nationals and Nekoma lost against Karasuno.

“Kuroo, this is for you. If you are ever unsure, or you miss me when I am gone, you can think of me!” Bokuto jumped up and down in an impatience for him to unwrap a thin gift.

Kuroo´s face glowed. “Thank you!”

“All the songs remind me of you, or of us, the time spent together! Isn´t it awesome? Isn´t it? Isn´t?” Bokuto was shining like the brightest star.

“This is the best,” Kuroo said in a hushed tone, not being able to match Bokuto´s enthusiasm. He was touched, unable to react to the most thoughtful gift he ever received.

 

 

After Kuroo heard what took place in his friends’ home, he ran there. They didn´t let him see. Bokuto was in critical condition, Kuroo screamed anyway. And when did they arrive? Akaashi and Kenma, both were holding him for their dear life.

“Koutaro!” Kuroo screamed and yelled until his voice gave up.

Bokuto´s household was burning down.

“Bokuto,” Kuroo sighed and then the whole world blacked out in front of him.

 

 

_I was the one to close your eyes,_

_I didn´t realize,_

_I was the one to help to get you down,_

_I didn´t try,_

_I was the last one to shovel the gravel onto your life,_

_We didn´t get the chance._

 

 

Kuroo´s body was awake, but that was about it. He saw Bokuto hooked up on so many machines, he thought he would throw up again. Why was he like this?

Doctors did everything in their power to save him.

Then why…

Kuroo kissed his mouth and touched his eyelids, imagining he was the last one to close his eyes. Forever. “I wish for you to be here, to never leave me.”

“I never did.” Kuroo´s body shot up.

Bokuto never really left him.

 

 

“He died…” Kuroo echoed his own words, while sprinkled with hugs provided by Akaashi and Kenma. They didn´t show their need for the same type of support, although they both were grieving the loss of their great friend. The greatest one. “And I am going crazy.” Kuroo closed his eyes full of tears. There was no reason to hide them anymore. “I need fresh air.”

Kenma tried to stop him, but Akaashi shook his head. What was the point? Anyway, Kuroo knew they kept a watchful eye on him.

Finally, he understood. He remembered. Or better yet, he stopped pushing the pain so far away, it erased his memories, but not the feelings.

“So, you left me anyway.” Kuroo touched the shirt at the place close to his heart. “We should have spent more nights together. And days. And…”

“But we still can.”

Kuroo frowned. This had to be his mind speaking, right? This ghost of Bokuto, or whatever it was, should be gone now, diminished.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Kuroo should have said no. “Yes.” He looked right at him, Bokuto´s presence being as real as when he was alive.

 

 

“He died, Kuroo. This is his gravestone,” Kenma said for the third time in the last couple of months, with Akaashi as their faithful companion.

This time, Kuroo didn´t remember. It didn´t work. “But, I see him right here. Don´t you?”

When Akaashi tried during the next week, “He is no more Kuroo-san, I am sorry. What else can we do?”

Kuroo disagreed again. “What are they talking about, Ko? I don´t understand.”

 

 

They tried again, they failed again.

Kenma visited him every day, even after leaving for the university. He talked about their times together, their childhood, his games, Kuroo´s love of volleyball.

Akaashi came to see him as often as he could, without mentioning Bokuto even once. They listened to music together, talked about many volleyball matches and Akaashi´s promising career in this field.

But Kuroo didn´t understand. Why did they keep him here?

 

 

“Why do they keep us here, Bokuto?” he asked so often, that nurses and doctors themselves doubted what he was really seeing.

His high school friends from all over the Japan never gave up on him.

And Kuroo never gave up on Bokuto.

 

* * *

 

 

_You opened my eyes,_

_I didn´t realize,_

_You helped to raise me up,_

_When I didn´t try,_

_You were the first one to love me as much,_

_Maybe we get that chance now._

 

And they were meant for forever.

**Author's Note:**

> If I need to/should add any other tags, let me know, please. I wanted it being a surprise (the death), but I don´t want to trigger anyone so you probably knew from the start. 
> 
> Thank you very much for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> Have a beautiful day and don´t forget, you are worthy and you are important.


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